The Chapel talk tradition at Saint David's provides faculty and alumni with the opportunity to share with our boys meaningful and inspiring personal stories: their experiences, lessons learned, challenges overcome. The annual Fifth Grade Mother-Son Chapel gathers our fifth-grade boys and their mothers or mother figures for a special shared pre-Mother's Day experience; a Chapel Talk by a young alumnus who reflects upon the role his mother has played in his life. This year, we welcomed former Student Council President Jack Mullin '12. Jack's family has deep roots with school. His older brother Patrick graduated in '08 and his dad, Terry, in 1973. Jack's talk centered on the impact both his alma mater and his mother, Immy, have had on his development into the man he is today. Below are excerpts that I would like to share:
"My family's multi-generational lineage is a testament to the incredible sense of community Saint David’s fosters, and I too hope I have the privilege to send my future son here one day. You may not all realize it yet, but you are some of the luckiest young gentlemen in all of New York City. Saint David’s is undeniably the reason I am who I am today. Its foundational framework centered around the four pillars of academics, arts, athletics, and spirituality is truly one of a kind. Saint David’s is not only making you academically brighter through its rigorous curriculum, but it’s also providing you with the means to develop other, equally important parts of yourself.
"More than that, Saint David’s cultivates a strong moral compass in each and every student, which will undoubtedly be your greatest asset in the life-long pursuit of the greater common good. 'That they be Good Men' is not merely a mantra – it’s the moral fiber uniting all past, present and future alumni together, and serves as the sole barometer of success for every student that comes and goes through these halls.
"But when pondering what to say today, it struck me that something arguably more important in my upbringing than attending Saint David’s was the one person who sacrificed everything to make my attendance a reality: my mother, who I’m so fortunate can be here with me today ...
"I’ll never forget that one of the best decisions in my life was all thanks to my mom. It was the fall of my senior year at the University of Richmond, and I was weighing my next chapter post-college. On the table was a great full-time job offer from a consultancy firm in New York City I had interned at in the previous summer. The problem was I had to inform them of my decision by the end of October. At the same time, I was also pursuing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work at the White House, as politics has always been a passion of mine. (Thanks again, Saint David’s.) Unfortunately, I was not going to find out about the potential employment status to the White House until the following March, well after the looming October notification deadline.
"So, I had to decide whether to accept the job and give up my dream pursuit or turn down the fulltime offer to pursue an opportunity I wasn’t even sure I was going to get, with no backup plan. And I had to decide quickly. In my head – the choice was a no-brainer. A confirmed job with a great salary in New York City, where my entire family and friends were located, versus a potential opportunity in a city where I knew absolutely no one. Not to mention the fear and humiliation if it didn’t work out. Even though I had my mind entirely made up, I naturally still called my mom to seek what I thought was going to be validation.
"How wrong I was! After framing the situation, my mom couldn’t believe I was going to give up on my dreams and choose the route of comfortability, because of the fear of the unknown. 'Jack,' my mom said, 'any place would be lucky to have you, even the White House.' In a moment of self-doubt and weakness, my mom reminded me how smart I am, how everything works out the way it’s supposed to, and how if you take no leaps of faith in life, you will always live with the burden of regret rather than the triumph of failure. Jobs come and go, my mom said, but your dreams are irreplaceable.
"Saint David’s provided me with the environment to academically, socially and personally thrive, but it would be meaningless without my mom. I certainly don’t tell her enough, but she’s the most important person in my life, and I, too, would be nothing without her.
"You all will go on to graduate from Saint David’s and achieve great accomplishments in due time. On the journey of life, you will undoubtedly encounter some road bumps along the way. You will encounter situations that may force you to exercise shrewd judgement in the face of difficulty, to take a leap of faith for a new career path in the face of uncertainty, to question your worth in the face of insecurity, or to make a life-altering decision in the face of love. Thanks to your personification of the philosophy, 'That They Be Good Men', thanks to your rigorous academic pursuit, deliberate moral introspection, and critical analysis of ideas and issues, the right decision will hopefully be clear. But thanks to your mothers, they will leave you with no room for doubt about what the right decision is.
"Very few people in this world act so selflessly on your behalf, cheer for your unparalleled success, or love you unconditionally. Your mom is one of those few angels in this world.
"So, this Mother’s Day, make sure you all take the time to thank your mothers and let them know how much they mean to you, and how much you love them. In both good and bad times, in moments of despair and moments of prosperity, you know you can count on your mom being by your side. Never take their influence for granted, because nobody in this world wants you to succeed more than your mother."
Thank you, Jack, for sharing such a beautiful tribute to your mother, and for your kind words about Saint David's. We know from research that a boy's sense of connection to parents (parent figures) is the most important factor influencing his well-being; the second most important is a boy's sense of connection to his school. Providing these special occasions for our moms (or the people who carry out this role) to have shared meaningful experiences with their sons is a powerful way to enhance those connections. Ut viri boni sint.