A Culture of Kindness

It’s not always easy to raise a boy. There is seemingly a constant concern about the crisis in boys’ social development, mental and emotional health, and scholastic achievement. The cultural winds can batter and worry even the most optimistic parents among us. However, there’s ample evidence that boys can be successfully reached, can learn, grow, and be taught using proven pedagogy and an approach that focuses on the relational dimension of teaching and learning.

We focus on this relational dimension at Saint David's and, guided by our founding faith, we ground that dimension in kindness. As I wrote in my opening letter, kindness speaks to the core essence of a “good man” or a gentle-man. In fact, and in practice, going against a broader popular culture that does not always celebrate kindness is the work of our school.

Kindness does not necessarily equate to being "nice" or "cheerful." Acts of kindness can very well be keeping expectations for behavior high, holding each other accountable for our actions, and cultivating a habit of deliberate moral introspection, so that we recognize when we make mistakes and fall off course, and then work to make amends, and right our course.

A signature way that Saint David's approaches the cultivation of kindness is through the character component of our Pre-K through Grade 8 health, well-being, and character program, Sophrosyne, which derives from the Greek virtue of excellence of character and a healthy state of mind.

This year, we have partnered with consultant Jason Craige Harris, who collaborates with our Inclusion, Diversity and Community team and our Sophrosyne faculty in helping us be an ever more inclusive and kind community. Last week, Mr. Harris met for a session with faculty and led developmentally appropriate workshops with boys in all grades that addressed what it means to be kind, the impact of our actions vs. our intent, and, in particular, the importance of "having kindness toward yourself." He focused on using respectful language and what boys can do in situations where their peers are being teased. "How can you help?" He asked the boys. Our boys' responses, all insightful, varied: "You can tell the teaser they need to stop;" "You can tell a grownup; "You can think about how you would feel if this was done to you."

Ultimately, we want our boys and our entire community to approach difficult situations with compassion and kindness, and to embrace and learn from difference in its many manifestations. By concentrating on the relational - the relationships between teachers and boys, boys and boys, and the school and families - we can go far in strengthening a compassionate, caring community where growth and learning thrive.

As Mr. Harris notes in the video above: "We are all in this together." Ut Viri Boni Sint.

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The Wisdom Within - A Matter of Trust

The Teaching Boys Initiative (TBI) is a cornerstone of Saint David’s School’s strategic vision, aimed at developing a robust framework of evidence-based best practices in boys’ education. The initiative’s primary goal is to empower educators with the knowledge, skills, habits, and dispositions of reflective practitioners, enhancing their professional growth and the overall quality of teaching and learning for boys. In TBI's new quarterly blog series, "The Wisdom Within," our faculty share stories that inform, inspire, and encourage reflective practice using evidence-based approaches in teaching and learning for boys. The following inaugural entry, "A Matter of Trust," was written by reflective practitioner and Master Teacher Tom Ryan, who has been inspiring generations of Saint David's boys for more than 53 years. A MATTER OF TRUST …but, I digress. I cannot possibly begin any writing piece, and/or class, without some digression that, as I have said to my s...

Jack Mullin '12 : Reflections on a Mom's Love

The Chapel talk tradition at Saint David's provides faculty and alumni with the opportunity to share with our boys meaningful and inspiring personal stories: their experiences, lessons learned, challenges overcome. The annual Fifth Grade Mother-Son Chapel gathers our fifth-grade boys and their mothers or mother figures for a special shared pre-Mother's Day experience; a Chapel Talk by a young alumnus who reflects upon the role his mother has played in his life. This year, we welcomed former Student Council President Jack Mullin '12. Jack's family has deep roots with school. His older brother Patrick graduated in '08 and his dad, Terry, in 1973. Jack's talk centered on the impact both his alma mater and his mother, Immy, have had on his development into the man he is today. Below are excerpts that I would like to share: "My family's multi-generational lineage is a testament to the incredible sense of community Saint David’s fosters, and I too hope I have...

Strong Values

You can feel it in the air: the indescribable yet readily recognizable excitement of the start of a new school year - in our boys, teachers, families, administrators, and staff. Below, I share excerpts from my opening letter that speak to our 2024-25 school-wide theme, "Strong Values:" "To-morrow I cease to be a puppet, and I become a boy like you and all the other boys."* We teach boys. That’s what we do. And we want our boys to think for themselves. And we want that thinking to be rooted in and guided by “strong values”—our school-wide theme this year, found in the last line of the mission’s second paragraph. In keeping with the school’s classical tradition, these strong values are shaped at Saint David’s by the cardinal and theological virtues of prudence, justice, temperance, and courage, along with faith, hope, and charity. To many Western philosophers, possession of these virtues makes a person good, happy, and thriving. Something we want for all of our sons. ...

David O'Halloran, Headmaster - Saint David's School, New York City

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