Brotherhood, Fraternity, Belonging

The following is excerpted from Saint David's Magazine, Vol. 35. No. 2:

A sense of belonging, a sense of connection to something greater than oneself—the essence of brotherhood—is essential to a boy. At Saint David’s, this sense of connection, of fraternity, is something we not only encourage but also cultivate, foster, and integrate into all we do. Our mission identifies Saint David’s as “a true community known for its sense of family, compassion, and kindness.” We believe it is this development of compassion, kindness, and sense of family that builds the bonds of brotherhood and establishes a sense of connection and belonging among all our boys regardless of where they’ve come from, what they believe, or their family circumstances. “That they be good men,” the aspiration of our founders and the school’s motto, is not the province of one individual; but rather a whole-of-school commitment to every boy’s well-being.

 Merriam Webster defines brotherhood as “a fellowship, an alliance, an association,” and to an extent, it is. However, to fully appreciate brotherhood, we have to go deeper than any dictionary’s literal meaning to a more abstract understanding of the idea or the “ideal” behind the word. In this way, we can view true brotherhood as a sense of fraternity, of kinship. It connotes a familial connection and commonality of purpose where the bond is even greater than blood.

 

... Our boys, in and out of school, are constantly challenged to identify between moral extremes. Brotherhood, cultivating a sense of ‘fraternity’ and belonging, is not a simple matter. Like most things, creating an inclusive culture of mutual respect and understanding must be nurtured, modeled ... taught. When things are going well, when everyone comes from the same or similar backgrounds, belief structures, race, ethnicity, or socio-economic circumstances, it’s much easier. When everyone doesn’t, it’s more challenging. To thrive in a diverse, multicultural nation and world, to contribute to and find their place in the world, to be “all that they can be” (the first line of our Alma Mater) our boys must understand and embrace the more abstract notion of brotherhood, fraternity, and belonging. No matter a boy’s religious affiliation, cultural background, ethnic identity, learning approach, socio-economic circumstance, or ultimate sexual preference or gender identification, each of them needs to feel a sense of brotherhood, fraternity, and belonging to each other and to an institution with values and high expectations. 

“I love you, my brother, whoever you are,” author and poet Kahlil Gibran writes, “whether you worship in a church, kneel in your temple, or pray in your mosque. You and I are children of one faith, for the diverse paths of religion are fingers of the loving hand of the one supreme being, a hand extended to all, offering completeness of spirit to all, eager to receive all.” When we talk of the spiritual pillar of Saint David’s, this is what we mean. In so many ways it is what differentiates us from many other schools. And we use it to help shape the moral compass of our boys. By employing the school’s Catholic faith tradition and its classically informed pedagogical underpinnings, our Religion and Sophrosyne curricula, Chapel, our Advisory Program, Service Opportunities, and the work of our Committee on Community and Inclusion, we provide a framework for true brotherhood and a sense of fraternity and belonging.

 ... By helping him develop self-knowledge and ultimately self-advocacy, (a Saint David's boy) is guided to consciously reflect on his own feelings, needs, and motivations and then to articulate this knowledge by appropriating Saint David’s values for himself. Rather than being passively told what to think, our boys are given the opportunity to envision their own ideal state of well-being, of what’s right and good, their own values, beliefs, and thoughts on any particular issue, and from there, discern how to pursue it. As Evan Morse, Upper School Sophrosyne Coordinator, has noted, “This approach builds trust, allowing boys to advocate for themselves, and encourages them to seek support from across the community.” We use a historical lens and employ a critical mind to inform our thinking and discussion in Sophrosyne, allowing (but not directly teaching) boys to connect with more current issues and ideas. 

Saint David’s is committed to building an ever stronger and more inclusive school community among the boys, faculty, staff, and parents with the continued support of our DEI consultant Dr. Derrick Gay. Jessica Pagan and Pedro Morales, Inclusion, Diversity and Community Co-Directors, in conjunction with Allison Vella and the parent-driven Committee on Community and Inclusion, along with our Sophrosyne Coordinators, Evan Morse and Kathryn Hunter, and Religion Chair, Jim Barbieri, lead the school in further advancing this work. Our efforts in this area address a broad definition of difference, are mission-guided, and include focus on character, socio-emotional health and well-being, and incorporate the cultural competency initiatives undertaken with Dr. Gay.  

Read the entire article at this link.

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