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| Dr. Derrick Gay conducting session on names with kindergartners, via Zoom. |
In the storied pages of our nation’s history, I’m not sure there will be many that will equal the ones we are living through now, which makes the strategic work we have been doing around building and cultivating a more inclusive, respectful community for the past several years, all the more important.
Ut viri boni sint, "that they be good men" is at the heart of our Saint David's School mission. We seek continually, in a spirit of friendship, kindness, and acceptance, to cultivate a culture of respect around difference of all kinds. If we want our boys to aspire to be good men, good people, they must learn to respect themselves and the people who are alike and different from them. Never has this been more vital than it is today. Technological progress has increased human interdependence the world over and yet many would argue we remain increasingly divided, isolated, and separated.
To counter this and to align our aspirations to foster an even more inclusive, respectful community, Saint David's has partnered for over five years now with Diversity and Inclusion strategist Dr. Derrick Gay. Each year, faculty, staff, boys, and parents participate in workshops, assemblies, and roundtables with Dr. Gay. These sessions are then further developed through Sophrosyne classes and grade-tailored exercises between his visits. All of this work has prompted us--individually and collectively--to reflect more deeply and honestly on important issues around identity, blind spots, microaggressions, stereotyping, racism, sexism, along with other "isms," and to hone the ability to have courageous conversations--to be upstanders as opposed to bystanders or bullies.
Questions such as, "Why would you not intervene if you witness a problematic or hurtful interaction?" are often difficult to accept and require us to consider and identify areas for personal growth and the action steps necessary for that growth. This past summer, for example, a large group of faculty and staff participated in an inclusion, diversity, and community initiative after the tragic deaths of several Black Americans brought the problem of racism into sharp relief.
On Monday and late last week, Dr. Gay met via Zoom with faculty and staff and boys in Grades K through 8 during their Sophrosyne classes. These sessions built on our previous years' work with Dr. Gay and the related socio-emotional focus that is the mark of Sophrosyne. Younger boys continued to develop a positive sense of self and identity. They explored opportunities to build connections to others and learned about and discussed ways to show inclusivity. In the older grades, the boys considered how identity shapes our experiences and explored the gap between the intent and impact of our words, thinking about the power of words that hurt. Students practiced specific strategies for doing the right thing when they see or overhear a hurtful interaction. They also discussed respectful curiosity about difference. Boys explored the prevalence of racism within our society, historically and today.
One theme addressed in these recent sessions was the importance of our given names. What's in a name? Names, as Dr. Gay reinforced, are what distinguish us from others, they often have ancestral meaning, and they are often how we are "seen" by those around us. Names can also become the targets of jokes and taunts, especially when designated "weird" (i.e., not the norm in a particular community or group). Or, they can be forgotten, truncated, and overlooked, causing emotional hurt and distress.
During his meeting with our kindergartners, Dr. Gay played a song from a past Sesame Street episode--in which Maya Angelou joins Elmo in celebrating everyone's names. The boys clapped and gave thumbs ups to the song, and, we trust, also to this concept: Respect for a name is respect for the person behind it. And all names, all people, deserve respect. Our boys begin with respecting themselves, so that they will have the tools to understand and appreciate the other, whether that be ideas, beliefs, traditions, or people that they may agree or disagree with.
The past year has been a challenging time. When faced with a pandemic or widespread societal discord we can choose fear and hide. Or, we can choose to be resilient, infuse our lives with purpose, and act to be better people, cultivating within our shared communities a sense and feeling of empathy, respect, and justice.
In the end, the answer to my opening question, What’s in a name? is . . . everything.
I’m ending this entry with the same prayer I shared after rioters stormed the Capitol last week and as our nation comes to terms with where we are as a people. I take comfort in the fact that our democratic institutions stood firm and that the perpetrators involved have begun to be held responsible, but my sense is we are far from done with our work to become ever more inclusive, respectful people in our nation. “E pluribus unum,” out of many, one, our nation’s motto, has rarely meant so much. The days ahead will be challenging …
Prayer for Peace and Unity
You have called us to be one,
To live in unity and harmony,
and yet we are divided:
race from race, faith from faith,
rich from poor, old from young,
neighbour from neighbour...
O Lord, by whose cross all enmity is
brought to an end, break down the walls
that separate us, tear down the fences of
indifference and hatred: forgive us the
sins that divide us, free us from pride
and self-seeking, overcome our
prejudices and fears, give us the courage to
open ourselves to others, by the power
of the Holy Spirit make us one.
--Opening worship for the 6th Assembly of the World Council of Churches (Vancouver, 1983)
Ut viri boni sint.
Saint David's School Website: www.saintdavids.org